Andy Warhol once said, “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes”. For Nanjing University junior, Li Jiannan, her short brush with online stardom has come at a price. The 20-year old student recently posted a want ad on her microblog for a bodyguard.
Li was recently dubbed “Nanjing University’s Most Beautiful Girl”. The moniker, bestowed by the online community, has propelled Li to become Nanjing’s most recent temporary celebrity. Our soon-to-be-falling rising starlet has recently been a guest on not just one, but two local television programs. In general, she’s the best thing to happen to our Nanjing since French Fry Brother.
Described by a staff member at the university sports department, Li is apparently “good at sports and low key at school”. She is the captain of the Ping-Pong team, though recently has been noticeably absent from training. It seems that Li’s fame has led to some unwanted attention from men; some have apparently come to the school, knowing that she is captain of the Ping-Pong team at NJU’s Xianlin campus, to ask staff for her location or phone number. Little Li, as she is also known, has also reported being followed home by men. She has since moved house.
At 11:24 pm on 26th June, the following posting appeared on Weibo:
“Recently, I have encountered scary stuff like being followed home and knocking at my front door. Add to this a few exaggerated reports of what women encounter on the streets, and I have decided to hire a male bodyguard.”
The job requirements:
- Able to beat up three guys at once
- Protect my safety, escorting me home at night
- No requirement concerning physical appearance
- Suitable applicants get ¥300,000 over three years
- If outstanding can sign for ten years
- Serious inquiries only
The ad brings up a few questions. They are, in no particular order:
- In the 3-on-1 scenario, who has what weapons? Will there be a test for this qualification? If so, can we come to watch?
- How many good-natured bodyguards are out there? If your job is to beat up attackers, is a heart of gold really a must? If so, is Jacky Chan available?
- Why no requirements on physical appearance? If you’re going to see this guy every day for the next three years, don’t you want someone who is easy on the eyes?
- Think about that potential ten year contract for a minute. Three years is a stretch, but do you really think you’ll need a bodyguard at age 30 because you were “Nanjing University’s Most Beautiful Girl” ten years ago?
The want ad has drawn a lot of attention online. It was reposted 15,000 times on Weibo and received around 1,000 comments. There are questions about whether or not it was a sincere advertisement, though Little Li insisted when asked by reporters that it was an honest post. There have also been questions as to where a third year student would find the ¥300,000 mentioned in the ad. Li says that her family has offered to pay for someone to protect her.
Little Li, we have good news. The Internet may have extended Warhol’s aforementioned 15 minutes to something closer to three weeks, but your time is almost up. Don’t get suckered into signing a 3-year contract; private security is a racket. Find a guy who is willing to work for peanuts on a 3-month “probationary period”, and by the time he’s expecting a permanent offer you’ll already be long forgotten.
The new celebrity will be the poor sod who was suckered into protecting you. We can see the headlines now; “Nanjing’s most honest resident protects NJU girl; never gets paid”. Girl power.